Dear Brother Sam,
I have temporal lobe seizures and see flying monkeys with tails carrying little imp like characters on their backs while flying over fire filled burning pits. Should I invite my friends over to roast marshmallows or should I buy some bug spray and a fire extinguisher? I am anxious for your kind reply.
Love,
Sister Cinda Grimm
Dear Sister Cinda
First off, you get points for pluck. Brother Sam is big on pluck. And a sense of humor, also good. But there's a time for levity and this ain't it. Your question is nakedly fallacious in its premise. It presents a false dichotomy. There is no choice. You invite your friends over to roast marshmallows and buy some bug spray and a fire extinguisher. Try not to let this happen again. I assume Brother Sam is to be among the invitees. Goddamn.
Love,
Brother Sam
